Sunday, April 19, 2009


I was just reading - as you do on a Monday morning when trying to avoid doing actual work - and was struck by something that was being discussed in the comments: the idea of being single; whether this means 'not dating' or 'not in a relationship'.

This is a mostly American blog and what struck me about it is that I don't feel like people in NZ 'date' per se. It seems quite odd to me that our culture is pretty similar to America's and yet our dating rules can be completely different.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like in America it is pretty acceptable to be 'dating' more than one person at a time... until one of those dates becomes an 'official relationship', from which point things should be completely monogamous. Maybe it's just that they're more formal about it, but I can't think of anyone I know in NZ who has done this kind of thing. It seems like here how it works most of the time is that you sleep with someone when you're drunk (either because it had never occurred to you or you didn't have the balls to do it before then) and if there's some mutual liking going on it might develop into something else.

I think what I'm getting at is that it seems like the general pattern in our society (or at least among the people I know) is that sex comes first, is usually followed by more sex, and then will maybe be followed by a relationship of some sort but that usually comes after a good month or two of neither party knowing quite where they stand. Is this weird?

1 comment:

  1. I think me and you have talked about this before? i suppose it's weird on an international scale, if that is our trend.( we talked in the past about the fact that perhaps it was just our group of friends that were LUTS) but it does not tend to strike us as weird probably because we're socialized to it? which we totally are.I'd like to be dated.